What’s the Best Way to Connect with My Child?

We all want to feel close to our kids. But here’s the honest truth: life is full.

Between work, school runs, cooking dinner, and the endless to-do list, “connection” can feel like another item we’re failing at. Sometimes it feels like we’re always with our kids, but not really with them. So what’s the secret? What’s the best way to actually connect with your child?

Connection is about presence, not perfection

Connection isn’t built on being a perfect parent. It’s built in the small, ordinary moments where your child feels safe, seen, and valued. Sitting on the floor to play. Putting your phone down and looking them in the eye. Sharing laughter over something silly.

It’s not about how much time you have, but the quality of your attention in the time you do have.

⸻

Why 1:1 time is so powerful

Kids thrive when they get you to themselves — even just for 30 minutes. Research on attachment shows that children who feel securely attached are more resilient, confident, and regulated. And one of the simplest ways to build that attachment is through regular parent–child “dates” or one-on-one time.

When you give your child a moment that says, “I choose you. I want to be with you. You matter,” you’re filling their emotional tank in ways that ripple out into their behavior, their confidence, and their happiness.

⸻

But I don’t have time for big outings!

Good news: you don’t need them. Connection doesn’t come from expensive activities or all-day trips. It comes from intention. A walk around the block. Hot chocolates at the café. A silly game in the lounge. Even baking together for half an hour can become the highlight of their week if you’re truly present.

⸻

A practical framework for connection

In our own family, we use a simple date framework:

• Choose an activity together (they lead, you join).

• Protect the time (phone away, no multitasking).

• Add a small ritual (a treat, a photo, a special goodbye).

This little structure turns an ordinary activity into a memory-maker.

⸻

Where to start if you’re overwhelmed

If you’re thinking, “This sounds lovely, but I’m exhausted and already stretched thin,” start small. Try the 10–10–10 rule: 10 minutes in the morning, after school, and before bed where your child has your undivided attention. Those tiny pockets of presence make a bigger difference than you think.

⸻

The Thriving Together Solution

This is exactly why we created the Thriving Together book series, to take the pressure off parents and give you ready-to-go date ideas. Each activity is fun, simple, and designed with child development in mind, so you know you’re not just “filling time,” you’re building secure attachment.

Explore the Thriving Together series here.

 

So, what’s the best way to connect with your child? It’s not about being perfect, or doing it all. It’s about choosing presence in the small moments you do have. Your child doesn’t need elaborate plans, they just need you. And that’s something you can give today.